Sex with a pig

Dear Beastiality Forums,

I'm here in Iowa on a long bike ride. I'm keeping a blog about the trip somewhere else. But I couldn't put this in that blog, so, since I'm a regular poster here, I thought I'd stop in a little internet kiosk and relate the tale.

Last night I figured since "when in Iowa," I'd act like a typical Iowan. I went downtown looking for a little squealy action.

It wasn't long before I found the guy I was looking for. For those of you visiting Iowa for the first time, if youi're "in the market," just look at the signs that say "Pork Chops." The 1st "P" will be extended a few inches below the rest of the letters.

Then, approach the farm boy standing there and say, "I'd like the other white meat, please." Slip him a $5 bill and you're in like Flynn.

Anyway, I'll spare the details of the whole thing. She was cute thing. I always liked several Stephen King stories where he uses the phrase, "I should smile and kiss a pig." Indeed.

Gotta be careful and not post this in that biking blog I'm keeping. God only knows what they'd think.

Elmer Fudd

PS Yes, it was a female pig. What do you think I am, some kind of pervert? I know it was female because the tail curls to the right for females and . . . or does it go to the left . . . uh oh . . .